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Darkness Howls
10-04-2008, 02:23 AM
This is a story I began today...I only have a vauge idea of where it's headed, but if you're interested in it, I'll continue writing. It's still prtty rough and need of revision, so feel free to offer constructive criticism.

Alec's Journey

On the third day, Alec spotted the second machine in the desert. At first he thought it was just a mirage, the heat and dehydration ****ing with his head. But as Alec drew nearer and the object didn’t disappear into the shimmering waves on heat on the horizon, it became clear that it was no mirage. As he approached, Alec wondered if this machine would be like the first one, but he had a sickening feeling in his gut that they were all the same.

He didn’t want to investigate the machine. He gladly would have taken another hour just to detour around it if he could, risk becoming weaker than he already was, just to stay the hell away from that thing. But Alec couldn’t go around it. He could hear its song in his ear, whispering enticing lies and promises of comfort. As he drew nearer to the machine, its hold on him only strengthened. It was like this when he stumbled upon the first one, too, but he had been himself then, able to resist most of its temptation. Now, Alec actually found himself believing some of its false assurances. It promised him water, food, a soft bed, and he believed it, his mind and body on the verge of collapse.

He knew he was walking to his death, though only vaguely. The thought of a sip of cool lemonade and a good meal overruled any reason he had the capacity for at that point.

TBC...

*Nibbles on kitten*

Thadius Moor
10-04-2008, 05:57 AM
It's interesting...

A bit odd and slightly vague as to the plot, but if it had more to it, the story could be good.

Eventually, I'll get around to writting my book...

It's about a serial killer who evades and taunts the law enforcement community for decades and slays thousands in the name of his evil demonic master.

Someday... And when I do, it should sell in the millions of copies...

Old Skool
10-04-2008, 07:14 AM
I liked it...and agree w/ Thadius' points. It's good to see some normal posts around here again and not spam...

Dlav123
10-05-2008, 03:04 PM
little confusing but i like it
its suspensful cause i wanna know what the machine is and whats really happening
good begining